Cons of Fame
by NyanicornYaY
Summary: It's pretty hard being a famous rockstar. I mean, it's nice when you get so much money from it, but I just can't stand all the fangirls trying to molest you and all the assassins that are so jealous of your fame. And they don't even care about how long you take to do your hair! Those bastards! These are just some of the cons of fame. Rockstar Boomer AU. One shot.


**Cons of Fame**

* * *

**I wanted to write a Rockstar AU for Boomer and how it would be like for him. It must be tough being so famous with all them fangirls trying to molest you and the assassins who try to bump you off so that they can be the next famous person or whatever.**

**This is a mere OS, but could be a story if it gets popular demand, which I highly doubt, but we can all dream. This is a non ship fic, which means NO Bubbles or any Puff. Maybe there is a mention...**

**Ughhh... I have to finish of reading ALL of sbj's one-shots and stories... that'll take a while. I also have to finish Allies and Rivals II AGAIN, because I felt like reading it. Plus Commander and the Leader is my favourite one of the series. It COULD be number 3, Mind Games, but it hasn't finished yet. Number 3 makes me give up on fanfics.**

**And, yeah... I might as well finish 'Guardian' amiright?**

**Also, Boomer might act sarcky and childish due him only being 18. And he still has his powers, so calm yo' titties down, woman. **

**_Talk is cheap... Let's do this..._**** -Buttercup**

* * *

_**It's pretty hard being a famous rockstar. I mean, it's nice when you get so much money from it, but I just can't stand all the fangirls trying to molest you and all the assassin stars that are so jealous of your fame. These are just some of the cons of fame. Rockstar Boomer AU. One shot.**_

* * *

_**I own shit.**_

**I haven't Beta read this, so there might be some mistakes.**

**xxxXXXXxxx**

**Boomer**

"Thank you, Florida!" I shouted as I waved to the swarm of fans that had gathered around the stage. The sound of their marriage proposals died away as I made my way to backstage. The curtains closed and I lifted the coloured piece of metal off of my shoulders otherwise known as my sexy guitar. It was my baby and my one and only. As soon as I saw it's blue body rimmed with black in the store, I knew it had to be mine. I carried it all the way to my dressing room as my manager talked about how successful the show was.

"That was spectacular! This had to be the largest crowd I'd ever seen! And I've seen a lot of crowds. Imagine how much money we have from that crowd..."

There.

Right there.

He's talking about money... again. Why couldn't I get a normal manager?! It _had_ to be some manager that doesn't care what the fuck I do. Just the money that _I_ make and he does _shit all_ to have. I mean, who cares...? I already have what I want, so what's the point of having more money? It's just this greedy manager... Which could be something bad about being a rockstar.

"I'll... just be in my dressing room." I muttered to him.

"Great! Perfect! Yes, you go do that. Whilst I take a visit to the treasury..." Of course. Yes, Mr Manager. You go do that. You go count- no. _Take_ all of my well earned cash that I could send off to some charity that actually needs it instead of you having it and blowing it off to some prostitute. Ughh... what prostitute would want... _that_? I entered my dressing room and plopped myself onto my soft couch... Ahhh! Finally. Peace.

Suddenly my door went open and 2 girls came in holding notebooks and pens. They had my name on their T-shirts.

Fangirls...

I was about to call for security, but the girl in front of me talked first.

"Oh my God! I can't believe I'm in the room of _the_ Boomer Jojo!" Also uninvited, might I add, misses. "This is... this is a dream come true! EHHHH!" Argh! Woman! Can you _not_ squeal in my ears? You're hurting my eardrums. As much as I appreciate my fans, I don't want them all up in my man cave... also known as my dressing room.

"Um... have you heard of knocking? I could have been naked..." I regretted the words as they looked they were about to pounce on me and _actually_ get me naked... WHERE DA HELL WAS SECURITY?!

"Can I have your autograph? Can I have some of your hair? CAN I HAVE YOUR BABIES?!" The other girl finally piped up, but I wish she didn't. I just wanted to eat my God damn jelly beans in peace... Who the fuck denies a man his jelly beans, eh? Oh yeah... the fangirls. Which should I say is also a con of fame.

Finally security arrived and dragged the girls away as they mentioned some baby names. And damn, were they horrible ones. I am _not_ going to have my child called Alexis Corri Marianne Jojo the Third. Or Kandi Alexander Jojo. Ughh... they have horrible taste in names. Thank God the security took them away... finally! God, what were they doing?! Getting coffee whilst I was being raped and forced to call the child KANDI?! Lazy ass motherfuckers... Yet another Rockstar problem! This damn security! I bet Zeke could protect me better than these freaks. Which reminds me... I whistled for my dog who was laying in the corner on his cashmere pillow. Zeke was someone I could talk to and he would agree. The little puppy hopped into my lap. He was an adorable, energetic golden retriever.

"Hey, my little prince! How are you today? Daddy had a successful gig today." I said whilst nuzzling him. "What's that? You also think the security is crap and you could protect me instead? Awww! You're so sweet!" I know it was biased, but he was the solutions to my problems. My beautiful little boy called _ZEKE_ and not _Kandi_ or _Alexis_. Ahh! It was so peaceful in here... for now. I thought over some things that made me smile. Like famous brothers...

Yes, they were also famous. Brick was part of the Parliament, which I thought was extremely good for him. The last time I saw him was when we said our goodbyes to him as he was moving to New York for his work. I thought it was cool that he would work with the President. Before he went, he made us pancakes. Brick's were the best. Ah yes! The good days. We loved his pancakes...

_We... us.._

Butch and I. Man, were we the best of brothers. We would fight sometimes, but Brick would sort that out. I heard he was a doctor. I never knew he could save people's lives. And help people give birth... which reminded me to call him one day and tell him that if a girl had a baby and called it Alexis Corri Marianne Jojo, to have that baby accidentally be swapped with another family in the nursery.

Man, I missed them. I guess it's hard to see family when you're famous. I smiled at each treasurable memory we had together. No.. I will not cry in front of Zeke. What would he think of me? A cry baby? Pffft!

"Shut up, Zeke. I'm not crying..." I sniffed as I placed my arm on my eyes to soak in the water. Which was probably sweat! I had a big gig today...

Damn, as I thought more about the bad things of being a rockstar, the more I really wanted to quit. You know? Just to have a normal life and meet a nice girl who could dry away all my tears and I could make her feel like the only girl in the world. Possibly a blonde like me. We could have a nice house in the countryside and own several animals. Then maybe we could have a crap ton of blonde kids running the place... who would _not_ be called Alexis or Kandi. Jeez, I'm really letting this baby name thing get to me. Hahaha! One can dream.

Is it weird how several normal people want to have the rockstar life whilst a rockstar like me wants to have the life of a normal person? Oh, the irony! It makes me want to cry deep inside. Another con? I think so! I lay on my couch with Zeke on my lap, just gazing into the distance of the window whilst stuffing my face with jelly beans.. It was nice outside. Lots of sunshine and fun things to do... which was another thing. I wanted to go outside and shop for cool stuff and meet new people who wouldn't squeal in my ear or ask for my autograph every ten seconds. It must be nice having friends... You could tell them your dreams and fears and they would listen to you. I heard some rockstars have rockstar friends... Of course, I have lots of _rockstar_ friends. Just not... normal friends. Because all the normal people would want to molest you. And you can't trust other rockstars. You tell 'em your secrets, they spread them to the world just to make you look bad and themselves look better. Sigh...

I'm sighing way too much now. I need to cheer up! I need to think of the good things of being a rockstar! I can't just sit here, regretting my life. I need to get shit done! Yeah! Inspire!

Say all you want about me, but I'm a rockstar that actually gets shit done! Too bad I'm a lazy fat ass... Eh. Getting shit done can wait. First, I need to finish the episodes of Adventure Time! I'm not going to stare at this window all my life! Especially with that person wearing black point a crossbow at me...

OH, WAIT A SECOND!

As soon as I heard the crossbow fire, I immediately grabbed Zeke and hugged him tight as I cocked my head to the side. Glass was shattered everywhere on the ground and an arrow dug itself deep into the wall behind me. Some of my hair was chopped off in the process. Damn assassin! Do they even know how long it takes for me to do my fucking hair?! They are sooo paying for my hair stylist...

"SECURITY!" I shouted. Nothing happened. WHERE THA HELL ARE DEY NAOW?! Having a fucking tea party?! Then, I could hear some commotion outside of my dressing room. There was some gunfire and shouting. Ah shit... I told you they were useless. I stood up with Zeke as my door slammed open and two men with masks pointed a gun at me. Ah double shit... Don't they know who I am?! Thank God Butch took me to his Karate classes. I need to bake him cookies... but for now, I had ass to kick. Some assassin ass. Which was another thing! Damn assassins are always trying to kill me! The Hell have I done?! Ughh... I am really thinking of giving up this fucking rockstar life for good. Don't worry, Zeke baby. I'll protect you.

"Put yer moutherfuckin' hands up!" One of the men shouted. I didn't comply since I had Zeke in my hands. They just got angrier. "I said put yer hands up!"

"No. I'll have to drop Zeke." Yes, even in situations like this, I still act like a child. But who cares? I am not dropping my child.

"THEN DROP THA FUCKIN' MUTT!" How dare he call my Zachary Evans a mutt?!

"Fiiiine! Zeke, you are a strong, independent golden retriever that don't need no rockstar owner." I said as I placed him gently on the ground. Suddenly, one of them opened fire and _almost_ shot ZEKE! That's it... they're dead... "What the fuck?! How dare you open fire at a puppy!" They then opened fire at me. Gawd, are they stupid? I quickly pulled a Japanese sword from my Japanese sword stand and deflected all their bullets. Some of them got to my body, but they merely bounced off. As soon as they ran out of bullets, I threw my sword into the first one's stomach and I sent him flying back were he was impaled onto the wall. That is gonna take a while to clean up... Thank God I'm not cleaning it! I looked at the second one who was backing away, nervously. Hey, I may be a famous rockstar, but I was still sadistic. Thank you, Brick! Thanks a lot! Had they forgotten who they were assassinating?! God, I am so sick of this assassin thing. That's it. It's the last straw. Instead of having some useless bodyguards have them sent to jail, I'll put a hole in them... or several. This should teach the other rockstars who could try to send assassins my way a warning. I gathered up an electric ball in my hands and put a large hole in the last bitch.

There. All taken care of.

"Oh my God, Zeke my man! Are you okay, babe?!" I gathered him in my arms and cuddled him as he shook, violently in my arms. "I'll never ever let you go, Zeke! EVER again!" The security finally regained consciousness and some police officers came in to take away the bitches. Before they left with them, the paparazzi came in to take pictures. One had a video camera and a microphone. Looks like I was on LIVE TV.

"Well, sir, I had to do what I could. Plus, this is just a warning to other assassins if they ever think of trying to kill me. I'm sick of all the shit I get from them and their pathetic ways of killing me. Usually, I have the police take them to jail, but I had enough and... well... made a warning to others." I shrugged as the microphone was held to me. What? You're saying the fans might become scared or stop listening to my music?

"Ahhh! GO BOOMER! YOU TELL THOSE BASTARDS!"

Yeah, I highly doubt that. My fans love me and I love them... most of the time. As soon as everyone left my dressing room, I quickly had to plan out an escape plan to get out of this rockstar misery. I'd have to send flowers and chocolates to my loved ones and possibly some money to the manager. What? He _was_ with me for four years even if it's for the money. What would I bring with me? Where would I go? I could live with my brother for a while and get plastic surgery to get my face disguised...

Ah what am I saying? I don't want plastic surgery! How could I ruin this beautiful face of mine?! That would be like buying a brand new iphone and them throwing it away! How silly of me. Welp. No plastic surgery. I could just get a wig... what colour? I didn't actually care. I just wanted to get out of this horrible life of a rockstar! I'd have to say my goodbyes via notes! It was nice being famous for a while, but the time has come for me to go! My fans would be devastated. Oh the horror if one tried to kill themselves. Well, looks like I finished packing my bag.

"Zeke. You can come with me! We can live together in my brother's penthouse! We'll have a secret life! We'll-" Suddenly a knock was heard at my door. "C-come in..." I said as I hid my backpack behind the couch. Ah... my manager... What now? You need more money?

"Boomer, my man! Hey, there's a party at your five star Chateau and your brothers have come to pick you up in their limo!" He said. M-my brothers?!

"My brothers are here?!"

"Yeah. They came to congratulate you on your gig and they're spending their work break here. Plus I heard there was babes and booze~!" He sang. I perked up at the sound of babes. Damn him! It didn't take him long to know me so well.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I waved him off. He told me to meet him outside. Zeke could come as well! As soon as I was alone again, I unpacked my bag. Running away would have to wait. Being a rockstar does have its perks. What was I thinking? Running away... Pffft! For now, I'M GONNA GET LAID TONIGHT!

**xxxXXXXxxx**

**I hope you liked it. I know some parts are confusing. If some parts have mistakes in them, don't mind them. As I've said, I haven't Beta read it. This might not actually turn into a story. I can't think of anything else I could add, so sorry... no story. I JUST decided this... wow... I hope you enjoyed this 'short' one shot.**


End file.
